29.1.15

Ex On The Beach 2 - Episode One



The series premier of Ex On The Beach 2 had a heck of a lot to live up to, after series one provided us with some top telly moments – it sure didn’t disappoint. We made our first impressions of all the single bronzed beauties and they wasted no time getting stuck in! Rogan got his kiss on, Connor put in some serious groundwork and Kayleigh gave last series’ ‘mad Frank’ an early run for her money. Here’s what we learnt…

1. The tablet of terror is back and the uncontrollable ex sweats began.
2. No matter what, grown adults will always run into a fancy house screaming and immediately jump on the beds. They’re like toddlers with tattoos.
3. Morgan and Rogan just became best friends. If they had bunk beds they'd definitely nail them together so there’d be so much room for activities!
4. Rogan is attracted to arseholes...
5. Luke has more muscles than a seafood restaurant... a seafood restaurant in Mongolia with no road access.
6. We might already love Morgan. He had us at E.T.
7. We still don’t know who Mother Tulisa is?
8. Rogan and Kayleigh went from bubbles to battering in the sip of some Champaign.
9. “Mel needs her arm bands on because she's going to get moist tonight” Aww Connor, he’s about as romantic as garlic squid.
10. Connor the poor kid. He put in a day of groundwork and ended up drying Mel’s hair… she’s already got the pup well trained.
11. The nervous poo – we’ve all been there.
12. If you’ve ever got money or pride resting on guessing a fruit correctly (because that always happens right?) never ask Luke for help… Mini watermelons?
13. Loren suffered from the age ol’ dilemma… Do I put a bag over it?
14. Adam is the wolf of the west end. So like Leo Di Caprio but with jazz hands.
15. Kayleigh apparently likes to throw a drink and a fist. Crazy alert.
16. Morgan has really tiny nipples – they’re like soft pink pennies.
17. Mel comes equipped with a slag radar. Available on Amazon soon.
18. Nipple watch part two, Adam’s are so perfectly round, like un-nibbled jaffa cakes.
19. “Smash the shit out of her” Yet more romance from Connor. He’d dry hump your leg without taking it out for dinner first.
20. Kayleigh's vocabulary doesn't stretch far from fuck off.
21. She's not angry she's disappointed. Jeez we'd hate to see Kayleigh angry! Even the pot plants did a tiny fear wee.
22. Rogan – “ He couldn’t nick a box of glory” We love him.
23. Anita needs to work on her fizz to mouth coordination.
24. Connor finally wore Mel down, like a well-toned stalker – go on lad!
25. Newbie Megan looks like she needs a good wash.

If they 'coming up' preview is anything to go by we're in for a right explosive telly treat! Bring on the sexy madness!

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