“Everyone pees in the pool.” - Rebecca Adlington
The camel toes are out already and
it is only day two. On more than once occasion we were hiding behind our
Australian cork hats, yes we may take our viewing a bit too far, we admit.
Delia (or Nigella, which ever takes your fancy) should be worried because
Geordie hosts Ant and Dec had a sweet selection of the most appetising treats
for this years unlucky rivals, Joey Essex and Matthew Wright. On the gruesome
menu this year were: ostrich penis, pig brain, a scorpion (which for a few seconds whilst it’s in your
mouth tastes like Marmite apparently), a turkey
testicle and our old Aussie mate the camel toe. Joey must have been at
least a little bit relieved when he discovered he'd be facing an eating
challenge after yesterday's trial, where he was joining pieces of a star
together and treating it like he'd just been asked to split an atom, he
couldn't have been given a simpler task. Stick it in your mouth and chew;
similar to how the lizard sat on his crotch was trying to do yesterday.
Unlike
most unlucky campers that are faced with this trial Joey and Matthew managed to
describe the flavours (inbetween gags) according to
Joey the ostrich penis tasted like “a school rubber with wee, tomato sauce and
vinegar on it”, one can only imagine. Even Matthew’s pallet declared that the
turkey testicles “had a hint of Turkey but wrong”. Both did
fantastically well, and it was only through a photo finish race of drinking
pulped up cockroaches that Joey managed to bring the food home to camp, much to
Matthew's dismay. Matthew then made a massive error by saying to the public
that he hoped that his performance in the trial would be enough to prevent him
being picked again. Wrong Wright...wrong.
Back at camp we found out another
fact about Joey, we don't know if we're surprised or not, he cannot tell the
time, the hands confuse
and scare him apparently. Amy Willerton sat down
and had the job of at least trying to teach him. Joey seemed genuinely keen to
learn, perhaps if he’d had a teacher in school that looked like Amy he could be
rivaling Stephan Fry these day… maybe
We also learnt something new about Rebecca, it
seems the key to Olympic success is peeing in the pool! Who knew?! By the time
she leaves the jungle she’s going to be known as the tampon burning, pool
pisser… what medals?
Tomorrow's trial (by tomorrow we mean Wednesday,
even though it happened yesterday. damn football.) will involve Matthew and
Joey - because who else would it have been – standing in huge hour timers
whilst an array of sand and critters is dropped on them. Who's going to win
that is anyone's guess, but my guess is it's going to be interesting
viewing.
Images From ITV.com
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