“It's going to be you every day – every day,
it's going to be
you.” - Rebecca.
Good to see Rebecca's got the hang of the game.
Which is more than can be
said for that hanging bag. God she was rubbish at
that, wasn't she? And poor Matthew Wright. Pipped to the post twice by somebody
who doesn't know how to blow their own nose. Congratulations Joseph Essex. You
have just made me write down a sentence that I didn't actually think was
possible. Joey Essex, ladies and gentlemen, cannot blow his own nose. Stunning.
Absolutely stunning. And it's not from some medical ailment that means that his
sinuses don't do it properly, he just doesn't know how to. I cannot imagine
having the flu and not being able to do that. So, what, he just rams a piece of tissue up there and hope
for the best? But apparently, it's
stuff that he doesn't need to know. That and telling the time. Words fail me.
A good show tonight, which fortunately gave us
quite a bit from all the camp mates. We discovered that Steve Davis can't stand
up for about half an hour after waking up and that Lucy doesn't like mess –
which should be interesting once the campmates discover what living as a
massive group is going to be like. It's one of my favourite aspects of the show
– that moment when the camps merge. Everybody in Croc Creek always say “Well,
they'll be living by our rules, it's our camp, they're just intruders.” And to
be fair, it's easy to see why. The jungle experience is a unique one – in just
a few short days of living together in this strange, surreal environment, bonds
are formed and then people come and intrude. People often complain that the
format on the show hasn't changed in years – but doing this causes arguments
(just look at Antony Cotton and Stephanie Powers) as various routines and
habits begin to clash. The trials become more of a pressure too, as there are
more mouths to feed, and various different opinions about how well somebody
should do or how much effort is acceptable. Interesting times ahead.
Today's trial, Up To Your Neck In It, didn't seem
too bad in comparison to others. Matthew and Joey were put into two giant hourglasses
and then trapped by sand coming all the way up their necks (These trial titles
get better every year.) They were then joined by mealworms, crickets,
millipedes, soldier crabs and cockroaches. I love soldier crabs. I'd never
heard of them before this show, but look at them. They just do their own thing.
Marching around aimlessly. Very much like Matthew in the Camp Battles. And he
puts the Camp in battles. Anyway, after Joey had learnt about what millipedes
do and Matthew had managed to get a cricket lodged in his ear, it all came down
to a tie breaker. Whoever could count closest to a minute would be the victor.
Joey (somehow) won this. He's sick at counting, used to do it all the time
apparently. Needless to say, Matthew wasn't impressed. I can't imagine being
beaten twice in a row by somebody who can't tell the time does that much for
your ego.
Back in camp, Joey and Amy got close. Joey pretty
much plonk(er)ed himself down in front of Amy and stated that his neck hurt.
Rebecca offered to give him a massage but Joey had already basically thrust his
shoulder into Amy's hands and before long she was kneading his neck like a really
thick piece of dough. And the showmance begins. “It's like watching a porn film
with my parents.” Stated Rebecca. We clearly have very different views on what
porn is. Meanwhile, the two camps were put against each other in a series of
challenges. Snake rock managed to
win one out of the three
challenges, which fortunately for them was actually dinner, leaving Croc Creek
to face the arduous task of boiling rice for their sustenance. With some of the
characters becoming more established, I do not think it's going to be long
before a row is on the way. My prediction? Laila vs Kian. Both are opinionated,
both are confident...and both are from different camps. Matthew probably isn't too
far from offending somebody either and will David manage to get on somebody's
wick with his pretentious views of the world? My thoughts are that David is
going first, so let's hope we get some entertainment value out of him before he
leave. Tomorrow, Joey (who else) will be facing a nasty little trial called “Sub-murged.”
He is to be placed into a small leaking and sinking submarine, hunting around
for stars whilst surrounded by an array of aquatic creatures. My judgement on
Joey as a campmate will depend on how he performs on this. So there's obviously
a lot at stake.
By @RobInnes87
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