Geordie Shore - Episode Three

Episode three of Geordie Shore and it was the morning after the night before… and that was one hell of a night before. The lads had a massive BF (bitch fit) and aren’t talking to Kyle, Marnie has done a runner home to mummy, Vicky is still the ruler of awesome and they’re all off to Paris. Here’s what we learnt…

1. The morning after the night before and the house looked like the cast of hunger games had been rehearsing there.

2. Je m’applle is the only French word anybody ever knows.

3. Charlotte and Holly arrived in Paris wearing stripes and garlic - the French were no doubt as enthused as a sloth going for a vasectomy.

4. Charlotte is frothing from the foof.

5. Scotty T the wine connoisseur. Is there no end to his talents?

6. Holly wouldn't try the snails, which was surprising; she’s bound to have had worse in her mouth.

7. Drunk Vicky on a boat taking advantage of a bottle of wine is a wonderful sight. She clung onto that bottle tighter than a tantrum-throwing toddler does his penis.

8. The Gaz smile also known as the ‘maybe I can change him grin’.

9. No matter how drunk Vicky gets she still maintains a commendable level of mum mode to take care of Charlotte. Bless. My mates would leave me licking the pavement.

10. The ‘there, there’ pat on the head, it’s the international symbol for ‘I know your sad but I’m too hungover to move and hug you’

11. They're about as cultured as Joey Essex.

12. James is a dangerous rider; that is all.

13. Charlotte and Holly will be running counseling sessions for broken friendships in the New Year.

14. Paris is a Geordies kryptonite.