With the grubs prepared and garnished and the
snakes ready to strike, the jungle class of 2013 prepare to enter their new
home for the next three weeks (including those nights where they're
irritatingly pushed aside for the football.) Yes indeedy, I'm A Celebrity..Get
Me Out Of Here is back – quite why this show is the success it is is often
debated. Is it the schadenfreude we get from watching some of the most
ridiculous celebrities the world has to offer be covered in cockroaches or is
the presenting style of the irreplaceable Ant and Dec? Perhaps it's the aspect
that allows us to force people we might not particularly like to do (and eat)
unspeakable things?
Ultimately, who cares?
Of course, over the years, as the
cast has been revealed, we've had several “Wow! How much did ITV have to pay
them to get them to do this?” A few “Oh, I remember him/her!” and more than we
can count “Who in God's name is that? I don't like them. Where's the phone?”
Last year, I did actually know quite a lot of them...this year, not so much.
But let's be honest, it is often the ones who people don't really know who
create the most fun and drama (I'm looking at you David Van Day...).
Admittedly, I only know about four or five of this years list, and even less
about any of their personalities, but with the wonders of research (and the ITV
press pack), allow me to introduce you to the I'm A Celebrity class of 2013...
REBECCA ADLINGTON
24
Olympic gold medalist.
Rebecca is one of those celebs that I didn't have
a clue who she was (mainly because I have the sporting knowledge of a walnut)
until I saw her picture. She was the rather cruel butt of a joke by Frankie
Boyle, with him claiming that one of the main reasons she was so good at
swimming was because she looked like a dolphin (to be fair, that's mild
compared to what he's said about Katie Price.) (Side note from Katie, she lives
near where I'm from so therefore we're 33% Team Rebecca)
Of course, as various
sports people will be able to tell her, life in the jungle is very different to
that of the competitive sports world, so what does she plan to do to help her
in the bush? She says that she is going to embrace the experience as a once in
a lifetime challenge, and enjoy working as part of a team again. Her fears?
Claustrophobia mainly. But you lot wouldn't be as cruel as to make famed gold
medalist Rebecca Adlington do a trial that requires her to get into a cramped
tunnel, now would you? From the little I know of Rebecca, I can see her either
going quite soon for being boring, or going REALLY far, like final far, because
she does seem to be actually quite a nice person.
STEVE DAVIS
56
Former Snooker world champion.
Even my limited knowledge of sport doesn't
prevent me from knowing about Steve Davis. Well, I say that – I know he play
snooker rather well and that he's ginger and is apparently nicknamed
“interesting” by his friends. Let's hope that's not irony, because apparently
he used to be known as rather boring, and that's a god awful nickname.
Steve
says he's not using the jungle as any sort of stepping stone to fame, and is
only taking part “for a laugh” and “for the challenge.” We'll remind him of
that should he be offered anything prestigious when he comes out.
He vows to
take on any challenge, from kangaroo bollock to space helmet filled with
nasties, which let's face it, is all we really ask. He plans to be the jungle
joker of the series, which tied in with Joey Essex should be a non stop chortle
of epic proportions. I predict he will do a Jimmy White and sail to the final
without really doing very much, but then I said that Hazel from BB14 would go
by completely unnoticed and probably shag Callum. I was wrong.
JOEY ESSEX
23
The Only Way Is Essex star.
Urgh. Ok, anyone who's read very much on what
I've written on here in the past will know I despise TOWIE, MIC, GS, any of the
combinations of letters that result in one of THOSE shows. However – what I'm a
Celeb (alright, IAC) has done has made me think about some of these people in a
slightly different light. I begrudgingly began liking Mark Wright (although,
I'd have liked him a lot more if he'd decided to punch Antony Cotton in the
face) and frankly I think I was a little in love with Hugo Taylor. The jungle
can bring out the best in people and maybe that's what will happen with Joey. I
don't really know much about him, but what I've seen around, he's not exactly
the sharpest of tools. To be
honest, his bio doesn't exactly scream loud and unique at the moment. He's
single, he's hoping to meet a beautiful girl in there, etc, etc. Go on Joey,
impress me. My guess is that he'll be doing the first few trials as the girls
will be dying to see him with his top off. He hates creepy crawlies apparently,
though my guess is that they'll not be too enamoured with him either. My mind
is open to like him, I promise. (Side note from Katie - I know exactly Joey is
and exactly why he was favourite to win before he boarded the plane to
Australia, he'll be providing us with eye watering hilarious moments, guaranteed.)
KIAN EGAN
33
Former Westlife member.
Yes, a Westlife person is flying (without wings)
to Australia. Kian claims that the worst thing is going to be being away from
his wife and son and that the coffin task which hasn't been seen in about six
years is probably the worst trial for him. (huge shock, that's one of the very
first trials they're faced with, well a of variation of it) Well, I suppose
Helen and Nadine did a sort of coffin task last year, but let's be honest it
wasn't for very long.
He also admits to being an emotional person, so we can
expect tears from him probably from the moment he sees the helicopter.
Now,
we've obviously had band members before – Simon Webb didn't exactly set the
world alight, and to be fair neither did Dougie. Will Kian be any different?
Possibly – I'm hearing on the grape vine he can be a bit of an arse, so we will
have to see how that transfers to the jungle. He doesn't see himself as camp entertainer – he wants to be
interesting and up for it. He's more than willing to throw himself into any
challenge that awaits him, which is lovely – but he also says “conversation is
key.” That's as may be Kian, but long gone are the days when an interesting
conversation round the fire will make the final edit sadly. He's not too
bothered about winning, doesn't have a game plan and doesn't really want to
entertain everybody around him...so why is he going in?
“Television is what I
want to get into now.” Ahh. There we go. (Side Note from Katie, having loved
Westlife since I was ten I will not tolerate any Kian bashing in this blog, so
there)
DAVID EMANUEL
60
Fashion Designer.
Oooh, it's been a while since we had somebody as
pretentious as a fashion designer in there. How do I know he's pretentious?
Well, because as I was reading his bio, I took a sip of coke and promptly
soaked my laptop when I read the phrase “I will miss my doves.”
Yes indeed,
the jungle is going to be a very different environment to what David is used
to. He has been a designer for big names such as Madonna, Liz Taylor and, most
famously, Princess Diana. He also has a phobia of pretty much everything, so
the show is the perfect place for him really. He admits that whilst he will
find it difficult, he is prepared to take the rhino beetle by the horns and
give it as good as he's got. Pretty sure Helen Flanagan and Gillian McKeith
said that before they went in.
He's not without a story either; this time last
year, David was diagnosed with prostate cancer, from which he happily managed
to make a full recovery. His mantra now being, if I can survive cancer, can I
survive the jungle? I don't think they quite fall into the same category, but I
get what he means. David wants to dispel rumours that he's very
grand and serious because of his royal connections, and insists that people
don't need to curtsy when they meet him. That's a huge weight off my mind.
He'll even empty the toilet bucket – which is more than Charlie Brooks managed
to do last year.
He's got quite a Colin Baker attitude about him – he's very
much looking forward to losing weight before Christmas. That seems pointless to
me, but there we are. Looking forward to David, he may well be very
entertaining and clearly won't suffer fools. I also predict he will be doing a
lot of trials if the public has anything to do with it.
LAILA MORSE
68
EastEnders Actress.
Well, she is more or less. Recently, Laila was
given the boot in pretty much everything but name and delegated to being a
background character. A shame really as I am a pretty big fan of Big Mo.
Laila
on the other hand will be interesting. Mark my words. I watched her on Come
Dine With Me a few years ago and she was a bit of a cow. With the added strains
of no food, little sleep, I predict that Laila will be the driving force of
more than a couple of rows in camp.
Not to say that she won't do well. She
says she's not a fan of spiders and cockroaches, but she has wanted to do the
show for years, which suggests someone who will jump in with both feet. After
Helen last year, I would snog her purely for that.
Guaranteed one thing though
– Joe Swash will be her biggest fan. He won't have a choice. He's “her boy”
apparently. Just to warn you Laila, Joe doesn't decide who wins.
One thing I
do love about her is that she's not an early to bed person. She only needs a
few hours sleep and if people don't stay up with her, she may be resorted to
banging a few cans together. Get her on Big Brother. The live feed fans would
adore her.
LUCY PARGETER
36
Emmerdale Actress
Ooh look, someone who's currently on telly loads.
Chas Dingle has had quite a year in the Dales, and now Lucy is looking to have
a big an adventure in the jungle, though she admits taking part in the show was
a spur of the moment thing and that she's now absolutely bricking it.
Excellent. Lucy wants to entertain people in there and be the one being laughed
at for a change, and also to be the shoulder to cry on. About six of this
year's lot want to do that, so it's looking like shoulder fights WILL be
happening. Watch this space.
She doesn't do well with boredom however (neither
do we Lucy, just so you're aware) – over anything else in camp, she feels
she'll struggle most with sitting still for five minutes. She'll be collecting
logs, making beds, boiling rice. And above all, she accepts that the trials are
not there to enjoy, they give you grief and as long as she's making the viewers
laugh she's happy with that.
But do not worry viewers, come the end of the
three weeks, Lucy is quite happy to go back to Emmerdale, a job she loves.
Phew. Chas will be thinner and have a tan, which is all anybody wants really.
ALFONSO RIBEIRO
42
Former Prince of Bel Air star.
It must be the year for old American sitcom stars
to make their way over to British reality programmes. After Dustin Diamond
graced our screens again in Celebrity Big Brother, Alfonso, AKA Carlton, now
appears in the jungle.
Alfonso says his wife is non too thrilled with him
doing the show as it means leaving her with their recently new born baby...plus
she doesn't know how he'll survive out there as he doesn't like bugs or
snakes...And he's hardly seen any of the show. (Spoiler, he's already shed a
tear)
“Ignorance is bliss,” he says. “If I'd seen more of the show than I have,
I'd probably have said 'hell, no!” I cannot wait to see his reaction to Bed
Bugs. If he doesn't eat, he gets grouchy. And he isn't afraid to debate
information either. Whether that's on the fine art of cooking rice or feminist
theories remains to be seen, but Alfonso is more than prepared to learn some
things about himself. Trials where he can't get out will be an issue for
him...that's rather a lot of them isn't it? He is also not going to be doing
the famed Carlton dance until he is voted out. That's either an invitation to
get him out early or he's over predicting the public's love for him. We shall
see.
AMY WILLERTON
21
Miss Universe GB Model.
My guess is she's been hired to stand under the
waterfall for three weeks.
Oh, but here's a thing...she's single. Joey's
single! OMG WILL WE SEE A ROMANCE?!?!?!!? Probably. Yay.... Amy was in Moscow
for the global Miss Universe competition when she was asked to take part (I
think that means she lost) and so is promising to give her fellow camp mates
lots of lessons on cat walking. I for one cannot wait to see Steve Davis in
high heels. Apparently with 110 million people watching the contest, you have
to get your walk just right.... How hard can walking down a stage be?
She is
looking forward to stripping. Oh sorry, she's looking forward to stripping down
and not wearing any make up and being natural. How silly of me. Amy
(apparently) rose to fame on Katie Price's reality show “Signed by Katie
Price,” where she promptly dumped Price and went on to forge her own career. I
can't diss her for that. Well played.
Amy is apparently the go to girl in her
family if there's a spider but her biggest fears are “weird things” like china
dolls. Can we please have a task where she has to eat a china doll? That would
be brilliant television.
No, fair play to her – I'm prepared to give her a
chance. A modely type person who isn't too fussed by bugs isn't a very common
thing on this show, and I thought Ashley Roberts would be boring. Let her have
her time. But the moment she starts cuddling up to Joey on a hammock, she's gone.
Deal?
MATTHEW WRIGHT
48
Presenter of “The Wright Stuff” on Channel 5.
I cannot wait for this. Matthew says that no
other contestant has ever had the severity of arachnophobia that he has, ever.
If he's worse than Gillian Mckeith then we are in for a giggle and a half. He's
tried to go to a therapist, but apparently there wasn't enough time before the
start of the show for him to be effectively cured. Maybe he should try that
tapping your chest whilst humming Happy Birthday thing that Sinitta did. That worked.
He
says his scream factor is likely to be “above Dean Gaffney but lower than Paul
Burrell.” That does take some doing to be fair. There does seem to be quite a
journey for Matthew ahead. He says that he isn't doing the show for any type of
job opportunity but to cope with issues he has. Alongside spiders, Matthew is
scared of heights too, and apparently these fears have got worse as he's got
older. Ironically though, he also says that his nightmare campmate would be a
mixture of Sinitta and Helen, and that he will have no problems at all putting
such a campmate in their place. Excellent stuff. Seriously though, Matthew is
my early favourite. I am intrigued to see how he will cope.
So, that's our lot this year. Apart from the two
that will be forced to spend the night in some sort of shack later on in the
series.
The rumours of extras are rife as usual – Helen Flanagan is on the
grape vine to make a return at some point to do “one last trial,” and some evil
person on Digital Spy claimed they'd heard that Katie Price was heading back
too. Please no. I will pay her to make her stay away.
Don your jungle hats
people, for the return of I'm a Celebrity...GET ME OUT OF
HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!!!
By @RobInnes87
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