Wednesday 4th September
Tuesday 3rd September
“Do you have two kidneys?” - Charlotte
Sophie sweetie, poppet. Am I the only one who
doesn't remember Sophie ever saying poppet? Either way, she's gone. Somehow,
despite the fact that she had more entertainment in her than Bruce has in one
of those veins that keeps threatening to explode from his neck, Sophie left
tonight to a not too kind reception (although I think it could have been worse.
Do the crowd get handed sedatives before filming this year?) and got a pretty
tricky interview from Emma. Was it deserved? Partly I think – she was a bitch
at times...but then Louie has been far, FAR worse and yet receives cheers. Go
figure.
Sophie was an interesting character who had loads
of potential – she was never going to win, or even make it to the final, but she
was one of those housemates who should have survived at least one eviction
before she went. Yes, she was bossy and acted like a know all but think how
much better things could have been if Danielle had survived. The two of them
were only just getting their claws sharpened when Danielle left, and Sophie was
left with very little to do other than moan about the state of the house. I've
always thought it strange how housemates complain when the house gets dirty –
not only are you living with up to fifteen people so it's to be expected...but
you're in the Big Brother house! It's not like these people have come into YOUR
house and started throwing dirty underwear around. Just enjoy the experience
and if you're going to moan, don't do it about the mess! Clearly I'd make a
fabulous housemate.
The hostage task continued with gusto – Abz had
to sing, much to his housemate's delight. (The prisoners dancing away was a
personal highlight) and Courtney flatly refused to wear her dirty overalls,
claiming it made her feel bad. It should be noted, as much as I like Courtney,
that she pretty much hasn't participated in any tasks that take her out of her
comfort zone. Anything that she's been required to eat has been turned down
quicker than Bruce trying to find more acting work, and now she won't even wear
an outfit for a day. If it was something truly unpleasant I could sort of
understand it, but it's really not. Maybe they should have left her seeing her
husband till the end of the task so that there was some sort of inclination for
her. She did finally put the outfit back on after much nagging from the others
(and Lauren claiming that she'd been a moron. You only just seeing that?)
but..urgh... Put some effort in. Technically you're being paid to do a job here
– be a bit more professional? And that goes for all you miserable sods in
there.
Meanwhile, in a twist that frankly makes me
narrow my eyes and inquire “....why?” Carol was returned to the house after
being in the luxury prison watching her housemates. The show now has managed to
literally exhaust all avenues in which this twist could be interpreted as
original, so please – from January, let's use this twist sparingly, please?
There was a nice back story to it though – the housemates thinking that they're
nominating Carol to be evicted was a decent enough lie and had this lot been
more involved in the whole experience it may have created a satisfying
conclusion. As it was, with a load of half arsed efforts all round, everything
keeps falling on it's face – despite the producers efforts. In fairness to
them, something seems to be working – last night's first show got the highest
rating since Launch Night, so whatever this lot are doing that I'm missing,
clearly it's something worth watching.
By @RobInnes87
Tuesday 3rd September
“Ice
– even that's considered food, ice!” - Bruce
Time
to crack out the TVs and headphones again as another shopping task that
requires unknown surveillance is brought out to play. I don't know what Channel
5's obsession is with stuff like this – obviously they know that watching
housemates bitch causes arguments and housemates knowing they've been watched
bitching causes arguments...but a little originality might be nice.
Because
for this week's shopping task, Carol, Lauren and Mario were taken hostage by a
mystery assailant called Mr. Big. Over the course of the task, housemates have
to agree to all of Mr Big's demands, under the impression that the three kidnap
victims are living in hostile conditions – when of course, they are in fact
living in luxury and watching their every move.
Looking
on the positive side of things, this lot need a shake up. With just about every
housemate other than Lauren wanting to face eviction and the chance to leave,
the celebrities are getting a little too cosy. Anger and resentment haven't
lasted anywhere near long enough for Big Brother to play with – but a tried and
tested method of getting the housemates to yell at each other is one sided
power and the old bedsit twist. But as the days go on, morale in the group is
getting lower. I would say that Lauren, Charlotte and possibly Mario want to be
there for the experience (and further their careers) whilst the others are
simply there for a fee and nothing else. Celebrity Big Brother is notoriously
well paid (rumour has it that Julian Clary got over three hundred grand) and
none of them are going to walk, no matter how much they whine.
Some
time away from Carol might do Louie some favours as he has to be one of the
nastiest housemates we've had in a while – entertaining yes, but by no means
pleasant.
Carol
too, is revealing herself to be consistently bitchy and vile, no more
demonstrated then when she loudly told Lauren to flush the loo in front of
Mario. Yes, she should flush. Yes, she's a 30 odd year old in a ten year old's
body...but would flushing it and just keeping quiet really have hurt? Lauren
looked mortified.
Yesterday's
nominations being fairly split across the board showed that there aren't really
any massive rivalries and animosities in the house like previous celeb series,
so it has to be said anything could happen past this point. As far as
tomorrow's eviction goes, Bruce is gone. In no way has he done anything to
really warrant being saved, apart from a few mildly amusing moments tonight
where he took everything far too seriously and tried to psyche out Mr Big. Les
Battersby was more intimidating than Bruce was.
If
it's a double, Sophie will be following him. Sophie had a lot of potential but
since Danielle left she hasn't really had anybody to bounce off. There was the
chance for a monumental battle between the two, but if the papers are anything
to go by, it looks like that'll be happening off camera as Sophie's legal team
(why the hell does she need one?) are apparently planning on suing Danielle for
her loose mouth over Sophie's “non existent” botox. Can we request that the
court case is held in the house with Lauren as the judge?
By @RobInnes87
Monday 2nd September
“botox faced, trout faced, witch” - Louie
The morning after the night before, a pretty
standard morning in the Celebrity Big Brother house, hangovers were out in full
force. The came the wrath of Bruce, his temper has been bubbling for a few days
now and Courtney’s late night ‘buzzing’ tipped him over the edge. Charlotte was
quick to Courtney’s defence and soon found herself bellowing ‘you’re a
miserable bastard’ at Bruce. Now she may not have gone about it in the most PG
way but it was about time someone said something to Bruce!
Nominations time. Bruce, Courtney, Lauren, Louie
and Sophie face Wednesday’s eviction and Big Brother decided to reveal this
snippet of info to the housemates with a twist, kind of. As the nominees were
revealed so were the housemates doing the nominating… a little more contrived
drama won’t hurt, hey?
The plasma screen revelations had the desired
effect, messing with housemates emotions and planting the seeds of paranoia.
Courtney’s mini toilet pep talk didn’t have the correct dose of pep and Lauren
retreated to the bedroom. This few minutes of footage is possibly some of the
most real and genuinely heartbreaking moments of Big Brother we’ve seen since
the early days. Lauren crying alone talking to a photograph of her parents
melted our tiny cold hearts. Eventually Sophie was the only housemate (that we
saw) to go and check on Lauren and offer her some comfort… jeez how bossy is
she!
Very, according to Carol and Louie. After the
nominations reveal the tension between Carol and Sophie that has been bubbling
for a week now came to the surface as Carol followed on from her nomination
reasons branding Sophie ‘not the good kind of bossy’, Sophie’s not so thrilling
evening continued in the garden where Louie mocked her Botox denials labelling
her a ‘botox faced, trout faced, witch’… real nice Louie. Now we haven’t been
Sophie’s biggest fans, but its obvious her hearts in the right place even if
her tone doesn’t sometime convey the sincerity, and Carol and Louie’s bitchy
playground ‘banter’ is getting more than a little unnecessary now.
We’d like to report a missing person. Abz Love,
last seen entering the Celebrity Big Brother house, there has been reports of
rumoured sightings involving a scotch bonnet. If seen please return him to the
diary room.
By @ItsBizNews
Sunday 1st September
The day started off with a punishment and a very
grumpy Bruce. You wouldn't think that Talking about nominations was a rule in
the house with the amount of housemates what talk about them. Courtney 'we didn’t
break the rules or anything' I think you did. Courtney and Sophie both told
each other they nominated each other and this resulted in no hot water, no
electrical appliances, no access to the gym and being sent to the jail. I agree
with Bruce the Jail isn't a good enough punishment but it keeps them both out
of everyone’s way. Bruce’s reaction was a bit OTT. He spoke about nominations
whilst nominating he's just having a rant because the young housemates did it.
Shall we all give out an early award to the
biggest bitches in the house (Carol & Louie). They never stop bitching. We
all know it can get boring in the house but stop bitching and do something
about it like Charlotte & Mario did. Charlotte & Mario got bored and
decided to doodle on the housemates faces. This was a hilarious idea and could
only be pulled off by these two. This also ended up in a punishment. They had
to doodle on each others faces and keep it on until further notice. Charlotte
didn't complain she loved this 'punishment'. These housemates are wild and
there's going to be plenty more punishments to come for them.
Bruce raving?! Brilliant. It was worse than the
dance every Dad does. Lauren should bring her own Aerobics DVD out after coming
out of the house. I'm not saying it'd sell well but she should still bring one
out for the laughs everyone would have. I'm really gutted Mario got through
instead of Charlotte because she would of loved the Ministry of Sound Ibiza
party. I really wanted an invite too. Charlotte would have been mortal
obviously and she might have wee'd the bed again who knows?.
I'm hoping Abz comes out of his shell more this
week because I really like him and I think he could potentially be a really
good housemate. I suppose it's hard for him to socialise with some of the big
characters in there. I think Big Brother should give him a special 5ive task.
It'll be interesting to see how the rest of the week goes. More drunken antics
from Carol and Charlotte? More bitching from Louie and Carole? More moaning
from Bruce? And more Courtney moaning about wanting to go home?
By @scottaylorr
Saturday 31st August
“Do not come to us with your cock and bull
stories, young man!” Ron
Let's all take a moment to grieve with 'piggy
pork' Bruce for the loss of his best bud and 'smashing' 'legend' (there there
let me vigorously rub your arm awkwardly like Lauren before you shake me off)…
oh you won't miss Big Ron either? He's a friendly fellow and I like him as a
person but the slugs lying in the BB garden would make more memorable TV. At
least he had the best laugh he's had in years and Charlotte got to stay so she
didn't feel like a 'big, fat loser!' Lauren was over the moon, thanking the
public as it is proof that people love her. But she doesn't want to go through
it again and have her nerves wracked so will be doing a Cinderella, scrubbing
and polishing like never seen before as messiness is all HM's have against her.
(If she is tidy and a very good girl, there's no other reason why they
would/should nominate her, says she) Everyone was made up for the roaring
cheers 'the lovely big bear' received (no more so than Charlotte as she loved
him) when the ex footy pundit has been shown the red card and.
Lauren the goodhearted, 35 year old woman who is
not a child or a doll, shan't be hanging out with 'botoxed old trout' Sophie in
her underwear any time soon (though they later hug out their differences) as
she has seen straight through her nice act. Courtney and the t*ts that she owns
(remember there's a difference as the t*ts do NOT own her!) had missed all the
Laurphie drama on account of almost being narcotised by her clingy,
drug-pedalling BFF. This is why we and Louie love her for being her; she's 1 in
a trillion! Mr Spence is ready to roll out onto the red carpet of Elstree and
desperate for his BB days to be over.
I'm flummoxed as to why 36 year old model Sophie
felt the need to deny and lie over having botox (well except for 'a while ago' so
probs 2 days before entering!!) as the trout pout couldn't have been more
obvious if Bruce was slapping her face with a dead fish!
Secret missions have lost all their FIZZ as the
smartarses wouldn't play along, opting to POP the lid off it like a weasel
would and call b*llocks. Dustin didn't stand a chance at convincing anyone
(except Charlotte and Sophie who Louie teases would need a truckload to become
more intelligent) that he endorsed and created his own health drink. WHY is it
such a colossal incompetence for them to let a task SUCCEED? How is it
preferable to suck all the fun out of it and lose rewards of fresh salmon,
tropical fruits and chocs?
As far as I'm concerned Courtney's proved she's
not just another pretty face on the programme. Loving that there's much more to
her than her BOOBS; she's so considerate and patient with Lauren, encouraging
her to clean as she doesn't want people to be mean to her. I hold my hands up,
I was quick to judge her and her marriage but my cockles have been warmed as
she misses her hubby so much. And the Court snort hysterics at how funny
Lauren's forthrightness is (when she outright told Courtney she was sure she'll
see her husband tonight and therefore be evicted!!) has made her the star of
the show in my eyes.
The pantomime 'GET SOPHIE OUT' chants she puts
down to her showdown with Lauren and was quite terrified by it, then wonders if
she imagined them! Courtney is sooooo happy that the crowd supported Lauren as
that tells her 'you're an angel and everyone sees it!' Lauren's paranoia went
into overdrive when Soph and Courtney cosied up trying to have a moment as she
could smell they were up to something! They promised they weren't talking about
her and that if anyone has her back Courtney does.
Mario's truth speaking and the fact that I like
to look at him in HD makes it almost impossible to hate him and his philandering!
He has lost respect for Bruce (who started off as funny, cool and wicked) after
he lost his rag the previous evening as 'no man should speak to a woman like
that' (though it is is hunkydory for a hunky-whory to cheat on one with 7 other
women!!) it was pathetic and he didn't like it at all. Bruce's misery and
moodiness is getting worse by the day! He was bang on that 'some people
shouldn't drink' (after Carol accused Dustin of putting on a nicey nice act as
no one can be that nice; he retorts that she's sensing in him her own
horribleness reflected! As if that was not enough she went on to belch and
order Mario to hit her back then whine like a baby that it really, really hurt
when he whacked it too hard with pleasure) as Carol is 'lovely sober but a d*ckhead
drunk!' Sophie was highly amused by the entire evening – as were we, as were
we.
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