30.10.14

Geordie Shore - Episode One



Our favourite Geordie bellends are back! Yay! We’ve missed this somewhat dysfunctional family more than we miss being able to get excited about a happy meal toy. If last series is anything to go by we’re in for a right dirty treat. Here’s what we learnt from episode one…

1. It does feel good to be back with these bellends.
2. We had to pause it for a good 5 minutes after the preview of Charlotte running through the street naked. Too. Much. Funny.
3. Harlotte are back. They’re kind of like herpes; you can never truly get rid of them,
4. Holly’s famous last words ‘she's not going to go there’ with Kyle. We’ve had cocktails that lasted longer than we think she will.
5. We can’t hope wondering if Kyle owns anything with sleeves.
6. Our Scotty T crush is reignited, so wrong but so right.
7. Blonde Vicky! She looks so damn classy... then opens her mouth and utters the sentence ‘I’d rather frig myself off with a cactus’ – we love her.
8. Oh look it's the one with the face and the muscles. Is it jack? Joe? Oh James…
9. Favouritism in the work place; disgusting! Where are the equal opportunities? Every slut deserves a chance!
10. Aaron is never going to take a hotdog out of a mans arse again… That's what George Michael said.
11. Some people can draw the NYC skyline from memory. Holly can draw Kyle, Scott and James’s penis’; the skills.
12. We know Scotty T is pretty talented and all that, but he's not fucking psychic.
13. Gaz was sat between two arguing silverbacks but looked like he was watching Downton Abbey. Too much chill.
14. Forget Robot Wars, it’s all about Potato wars.
15. Scotty releasing his inner bitch is like drinking an ice-cold beer after eating 6 crackers; refreshing.
16. Aaron got wet. Oh the irony.
17. Swilling is a big deal.

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