TOWIE is over, that’s it, done and dusted, and
it’s a wrap. Season 12 has come to a close and despite a distinct lack of Mario
(tut tut) it wasn’t all that bad, after a stead start we got ourselves plenty
of Ricky & Jess screen time, Lockie returned, Dan took hit top off
(although not nearly often enough), there was new romance, classic cheating
rumours, family feuds and of course, Arg being Arg. Here’s what we learnt from
the final episode…
1. Arg is basically Alan from The Hangover, only
less beardy and much less funny; he’s a shit Alan.
2. We got far too excited at the prospect of
Charlie’s hair looking good.
3. The tables were set to turn; Chloe was almost
the new Ferne on the outside of an Essex family mafia.
4. Lewis would totally have been the object of
our cheers at sports day.
5. Naked pictures alert! Rookie mistake, have
they learnt nothing from Arg?
6. The psychic card man had so much frizz it gave
us anxiety, Poor bloke.
7. No matter what the fancy dress theme a bow tie
can always be worn. Apparently.
8. Candy floss is the best peace offering of all
time – if a Mulberry bag or trip to Paris isn’t available.
9. The Grease inspired fun fair is the best party
idea, EVER. Bravo people of Essex.
10. 50’s Lockie looks exactly like normal Lockie…
FIT.
11. 50’s Tom also looks exactly like normal Tom…
FIT.
12. Charlie has proved to the world he can grow
hair and it has served a fancy dress purpose, but surely now is the time to
part company, please.
13. Bobby is now the envy of anyone with a pulse.
Dan seemed to enjoy the smooch almost as much as Bobby.
14. More Grace screeching, our ears can’t take
much more. We’d rather listen to Justin Bieber.
15. 50’s Ricky looks exactly like normal Ricky
(wearing a vest)… way FIT.
16. If TOWIE introduced a red button commentary
feature Ricky would have to do it, he’s the drama commentary king.
17. Arg’s nervous laugh is so close to crossing
over from endearing to crazy.
18. When Lydia saw the shoebox her eyes lit up
like Arg at a buffet.
19. We need much more Dan action.
20. Elliott was doing a lovely romancey speech
and all we could think was how on earth have we not noticed his veneer lips
before. It’s kind of adorable.
21. Arg managed to pull off actual romance, bless
him. However if it’s not Shane Filan singing it we’re not interested.
22. We definitely missed Mario.