TOWIE - Final Episode.

TOWIE is over, that’s it, done and dusted, and it’s a wrap. Season 12 has come to a close and despite a distinct lack of Mario (tut tut) it wasn’t all that bad, after a stead start we got ourselves plenty of Ricky & Jess screen time, Lockie returned, Dan took hit top off (although not nearly often enough), there was new romance, classic cheating rumours, family feuds and of course, Arg being Arg. Here’s what we learnt from the final episode…

1. Arg is basically Alan from The Hangover, only less beardy and much less funny; he’s a shit Alan.

2. We got far too excited at the prospect of Charlie’s hair looking good.

3. The tables were set to turn; Chloe was almost the new Ferne on the outside of an Essex family mafia.

4. Lewis would totally have been the object of our cheers at sports day.

5. Naked pictures alert! Rookie mistake, have they learnt nothing from Arg?

6. The psychic card man had so much frizz it gave us anxiety, Poor bloke.

7. No matter what the fancy dress theme a bow tie can always be worn. Apparently.

8. Candy floss is the best peace offering of all time – if a Mulberry bag or trip to Paris isn’t available.

9. The Grease inspired fun fair is the best party idea, EVER. Bravo people of Essex.

10. 50’s Lockie looks exactly like normal Lockie… FIT.

11. 50’s Tom also looks exactly like normal Tom… FIT.

12. Charlie has proved to the world he can grow hair and it has served a fancy dress purpose, but surely now is the time to part company, please.

13. Bobby is now the envy of anyone with a pulse. Dan seemed to enjoy the smooch almost as much as Bobby.

14. More Grace screeching, our ears can’t take much more. We’d rather listen to Justin Bieber.

15. 50’s Ricky looks exactly like normal Ricky (wearing a vest)… way FIT.

16. If TOWIE introduced a red button commentary feature Ricky would have to do it, he’s the drama commentary king.

17. Arg’s nervous laugh is so close to crossing over from endearing to crazy.

18. When Lydia saw the shoebox her eyes lit up like Arg at a buffet.

19. We need much more Dan action.

20. Elliott was doing a lovely romancey speech and all we could think was how on earth have we not noticed his veneer lips before. It’s kind of adorable.

21. Arg managed to pull off actual romance, bless him. However if it’s not Shane Filan singing it we’re not interested.

22. We definitely missed Mario.