Episode seven and Essex is a place
of two halves right now. There’s the half that are rekindling friendships,
going for a dip, flirting with Nan’s and putting bird crap on their faces. Then
there’s the half that are leaking tears, throwing pug insults, refusing
handshakes and calling it a day. All the ingredients for some splendid telly.
Here’s what we learnt…
1. Nelly makes our ovaries skip a
beat. She’s cuter than a baby panda feeding a piglet.
2. The symbolic photo frame
changing. It’s the equivalent of sacrificing a Virgin in a volcano to atone the
past.
3. The carrier bag shoe protectors
could be the next crocs.
4. Revelation alert! Lewis has
wanted Fran since he was 16! Hmm maybe in the same way he's wanted herpes.
5. Vas won't have just any bird
shit on his face oh no!
6. When Ricky saw his mum he did
the cry we’ve all done! When you’re sad but you’ve been holding it in like a
big brave boy, then your mum hugs you… chin tremble and tear town commences!
7. I love you more than the cat is
a sentiment only pet owners can appreciate.
8. No birthday is complete without
your friends forgetting their indoor voices and signing an out of tune version
of happy birthday.
9. Elliott is to romance as
Daiquiris are to cocktails. The epitome.
10. Lockie and his repertoire of
facial expressions is fast becoming our new favourite human.
11. “I hope you look like your mum”
oh Tommy is smooth! Nanny Mary wants a piece.
12. Family feuds in the supermarket
aisles; it’s like a modern day Romeo and Juliet. Kind of.
13. As Ricky sat waiting for Jess
he looked like he was the next in line for his TB jab.
14. Lydia whispering, “she's
aggressive” like she's hiding in a cupboard from a tiny T-Rex.
15. We're fairly certain Lewis had
one of those novelty electrocution things in the palm of his hand when be
offered a handshake.
16. Ricky's letter/apology tugged
on our tiny heartstrings, we're a bit disappointed there was no rhyming though.
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