BBUK - The Launch, Part One.

Big Brother is officially BACK! Our summer of love, loathe and laughter has begun. The house is one of the best in recent years and the theme has real potential not to fizzle out after the first week. Last night we met our first batch of housemates, you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d tuned into the Apprentice by accident! The majority seem like the same person with a different outfit, lets hope there’s more to them than an expensive suit or blouse…

Housemate No.1 – Tamara Stewart-Wood

24 – London – Headhunter

The most important person in her life is herself.

She’s fiercely independent.

Usually dates guys who are ‘fit but thick’.

Instantly came across as the bitchy ice-queen, but from past experience (Gina) Big Brother fans including us love the occasional bitch. She seems like the girl who will do anything to get ahead of other people, whether that is using her looks, intelligence or manipulation; not normally winning traits.

Housemate No.2 – Mark Byron

24 – Liverpool – Fashionista

Gets his hair professionally done four times a week.

Has a short temper and doesn’t back down in arguments.

Gets on with everyone apart from ‘dickheads’.

Conchita-would-be-well-jel and shouting Austrian abuse over the beard and HD brows on this Mariah Carey idolising Scouser. He certainly wasn’t ‘avin’ it’, that is until the money came blowing his way. It’ll be interesting to see how he copes in a house full of power mad players, can’t imagine many offering to do his fake tan.

Housemate No.3 – Helen Wood

27 – Bolton – Northerner

Hit the headlines after having a threesome with Wayne Rooney.

Lives with her 10 year old son.

Hates materialistic people.

The bolshy Bolton babe seems like a normal lass that we'd actually get on with. It remains to be seen whether she’ll fall under the normal and bloody boring category or the normal and we-can-so-relate-she-has-to-win category

Housemate No.4 – Steven Goode

23 – Hertfordshire – Entrepreneur

Would choose money over love.

He’s generous but controlling.

Thinks he will be the centre of attention.

We think he walked into the wrong audition, can someone let the poor guy know this isn’t the Apprentice. Appears very materialistic, money mad and cutthroat, time will tell if it’s all an act or he is actually that much of a twat.

  

Housemate No.5 – Danielle McMahon

25 – Glasgow – Lingerie Model

Has strict catholic views and doesn’t believe in gay marriage.

She’s trying to launch a new type of ‘wonderbra’.

Her idols are God and her mum.

Welcome the worlds biggest walking, talking, lingerie posing, homophobic (but she isn’t homophobic) contradiction.

Housemate No.6 – Winston Showan

27 – Essex – Lad

Wants to be a famous racing car driver.

Is looking for love in the house.

Says his friends would describe him as ‘unintentionally hilarious’.

LADiator. A potential WINner perhaps as he'll ease into this experience like a bum in a warm bath. Very much a ladies man, brain in his… well not on his shoulders. His laid back cheeky attitude will be breath of fresh air amongst the rest of the bunch.

Housemate No.7 – Matthew Davies

23 – Hertfordshire – Media Graduate

Describes himself as stereotypically feminine and camp.

Gets on best with intelligent people.

Says he’s a troublemaker.

Could easily be an extra on Made in Chelsea. He’s a non-mopper, with an intolerance of thick people and is now crapping himself after giving it all the Charlie big potatoes in his VT. Can’t help but instantly like him. Poor chap with either do a midnight runner or win it.

Housemate No.8 – Kimberly Kisselovich

23 – California – Playboy Bunny & Lawyer

Has spent time in the Playboy Mansion.

Is a cheerleader turned Lawyer.

Claims she’d clash with anyone from Essex.

Playboy scouted FULL TIME BUSINESS WOMAN AND (not a typical… they all say that) MODEL (yes another!) but she's American and ruthless too.

Housemate No.9 – Christopher Hall

23 – County Fermanagh – Journalist

Is a big fan of Katie Hopkins and White Dee.

He’s passionate about having an opinion.

Worst personality traits are being melodramatic and overexcited.

The journalistISH, greatness aspirer tears strips off Kim Kardashian devil worshippers devoid of personality yet has willingly walked into a house filled to the brim with these superficial spawns of Satan! We don't really get why he wants to associate with those that repulse him. He’ll either be a saint or sinner. Seems intelligent and witty enough to deal with the power hungry people in the house.

Housemate No.10 – Pauline Bennett

49 – Wolverhampton – Dance Teacher

Doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

Had a top 10 single with Kylie.

Will be turning 50 in the house.

She’s got the POWER! 

Another SIX enter the house tonight and there's a big twist that's never been done before and is said to change the game forever...