TOWIE - Episode Three

We were half expecting this episode of TOWIE to include a fair amount of girl fights and plenty more, he said that she said that he said I said, chat aimed at Jasmin… but instead we got a trip to Thorpe park, only a snippet of beard action and the revelation that Elliott gone done a bad. Here’s what else we learnt…

1. Having a half naked George in Tom’s bed is like putting a limited edition Playstation game in front of a 19 year old acne covered boy and telling them not to play with it. Oh the temptation.

2. Charlie has the neck of David Dickinson and the face of Edward Cullen; tantastic.

3. Chloe’s doo looked remarkably like a horse mane.

4. We adore Debbie’s ‘Keep calm it’s only an extra chromosome’ t-shirt!

5. Danielle's letter to Lockie went downhill faster than the fat kid in Captain Hook.

6. Lockie’s letter had much less ‘fucks’ than his last.

7. Geogia doing the ol’ invite someone to be polite trick then looking like she’d just found an old bag of dog crap in her pocket when Tommy actually turned up.

8. When Fran unleashes her inner rottweiler she's far scarier than any ride at Thorpe Park.

9. Elliott was playing football but not wearing a football kit; we feel cheated!

10. We've finally realised who Tommy reminds us of! A much better groomed Spencer Pratt during a face fuzz faze.

11. We laughed far too much at Diags’ ‘Carer’ line.

12. Tom is slowly morphing into Gerard Butler, minus the hot accent.

13. Why was Tommy wearing an outfit that’s perfect for a date with Netflix on a night out?

14. The Ricky beard alert was brief but beautiful.

15. If Arg wants a nap he should be allowed a goddamn nap.

16. Lewis’ smug grin told a very different story to what his lips were.

17. Elliott gone done a bad.