TOWIE - Episode Two.

This series is so far shaping up to be a right goody; a long awaited, thought it might never happen, genuine goody. It’s got a little bit of everything, old love, new love, no love and Lockie talking about feelings and stuff. Here’s what we learnt from episode two…

1. Bobby’s Breakfast Innuendo will be coming to ITV in 2015.
2. Ricky is morphing into a sexy lumberjack that looks like he could kill a bear.
3. Oh look GC is back... Is it bad we've only just realised she wasn't in it the other night?
4. Chloe and Elliott should really watch Friends to clarify the terms and conditions of 'on a break'.
5. Charlie’s tan is clarification, if you ever needed it, that not everyone suits the ‘sun god’ look; some folks are just built for the ‘pale prince’ style.
6. Mario wins the award for line of the series with this cracker… Charlie “I'm dripping...” Mario “So is Ferne…” We like our humour like we like our men, simple yet effective.
7. We'd like sweaty Tommy to read us a story.
8. Georgia saying “Jasmine Walia” was exactly how we used to say the name of our archenemy in primary school.
9. James in counseling talking about his definition of love melted our tiny cold hearts. He should copywrite that shit and sell it to hallmark for Valentines Day.
10. Oh we don’t half love an ‘accidental’ slip of the tongue, Chloe doesn’t know how Jess can still be friends with 'it' aka ‘Ferne’.
11. We found ourselves wondering what's in Arg’s golf rucksack, we decided it’s probably ham and egg sandwiches, a crowbar and Vaseline.
12. Tommy has never had a vegetable? He does know that the mash he has with pie and mash comes from a potato, right?
13. People aren't happy with Jasmin saying words! No wonder she doesn’t say them very often with all this agg’.
14. When we look at Fran all we see is a tiny moustached man, wearing a top hat, sat behind her eyes controlling her every word followed by a mwuahahaha!
15. We're very fond of Jess's hat, it’s nice to see Charlie and Ferne don’t have the monopoly on Essex headwear.
16. We very much like the idea of a Dan and Lockie sandwich.
17. Nobody tells Charlie Sims what to do except Charlie Sims. Alright!
18. Seeing scenes in The Brickyard always make us hungry.
19. Tom trying to say the right thing went very wrong, very fast.
20. Girls that invent problems are girls we will never understand, kind of like Cricket – pointless.
21. Georgia/Tommy/Jasmin, we're completely lost. Who said what? We need to know. Please reenact the scene immediately.
22. We're fairly certain Elliott has been a knight in shining armour already.

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