CBB - The Launch

"Think Margaret Thatcher, but more beautiful."  - Lauren.

So, as is the the norm, the rumour mill was in overdrive before tonight's launch of Celebrity Big Brother series 2405 and the majority of them made it into the house. And with some of the shoes that were on offer, it was frankly a miracle (and a slight disappointment )that nobody fell down the stairs. Although the likes of Chris Fountain and Natalie whatserface didn't end up strutting their way down the catwalk, let's have a look at who did....

First in was Louie Spence.

Famous from Pineapple dance studios and basically strutting around like a musical theatre lovie on speed on pretty much whatever show he graces. Something worth noting is that we finally have somebody who managed to make a camper entrance than Brian Dowling ever could. Quite the achievement. Immediately walked in and started moving the cushions around. He was very relieved that they'd got rid of the “eco theme shit” from BB14. God forbid a celebrity work for their fee.

Housemate number two was Lauren Harries.

“Just think of Margaret Thatcher – but more beautiful.” Well that's not hard really, is it? Despite concerns from some fans that Lauren was in no fit shape to be in the pressure cooker of Big Brother, in she went with knobs on. What?

As we've seen from her various appearances on BOTS, Lauren is in no way afraid of speaking her mind and you can pretty much guarantee that she'll be at the centre of at least one of the rows in there. She has also apparently taken in lots of sexy underwear. I for one cannot wait.

Next in was Sophie Anderton.

Now, the only reason I know Sophie is because of 2004's I'm A Celebrity. Whilst in the jungle, she had a number of spats, most notably with Natalie Appleton, who frankly I think Channel 5 missed a trick with by not putting her in there with Sophie. Sophie openly admits to a less than legal lifestyle in years gone by, but she is now completely clean and back on her modelling career. She says that people are fully expecting her to have a meltdown. I don't know about expect...maybe hope? She also almost became the first housemate to ever nearly get killed as she entered as she stood too long in the doorway and was nearly squashed by the doors. I don't know, anything for camera time.

As soon as Sophie had unflattened herself from the doors, Big Brother called all three housemates to the Diary Room and explained to them that they were not going to meet their fellow housemates in person just yet. They were going to another room in the house known as the Celebrity Temple (also known as the large task room.) where they would become the Cult of Celebrity. From here, they would be watching their housemates every move and would have the ability to make things happen in the house...and of course, the opportunity to nominate one of their unsuspecting (hopefully, with Dan gone) victims for eviction. The three doned their cloaks and their special Cult of Celebrity necklace (which Louie promptly put on his head and made himself look like a Klingon) and sat down to watch the rest of the celebrities enter...

Next in were Bruce Jones and Vicky Entwhistle

Also known as Les and Janice Battersby from Coronation Street. I have to say I was delighted to see these two. Vicky only left Corrie a couple of years ago, but Bruce was fired for drunkenly (and frequently) revealing secret storylines to fellow pub goers. Since leaving the house, he's battled alcoholism and now works as a mechanic. The two entered (together, but they will be individual housemates.) unaware it wasn't just the public watching them.

Courtney Stodden was next.

Can't say I'd personally heard of her, but she appears to be delightfully batty. Famous in America for getting married at the age of 16 to 50 year old Green Wing actor Doug Hutchinson. Since then, she's been modelling and appearing in various American TV shows. She is a huge fan of the British accent, but judging on the accent she attempted to use when explaining this, my guess is she doesn't use it that often.

The next celebrity to enter was Abz Love from 5ive.

A self confessed “sex, drugs and rock and roll” addict, Abz (nee Richard Breen. He doesn't look like a Richard to be fair.) happily admitted that he's gone into the house because his lifestyle of mad partying has left him a little in debt. Didn't look to me that he'd stopped partying before going in mind, but who am I to judge? However in the words of our Blogger Rianne, “He's just cutesy and I want to cuddle the crap nuggets out of him”.

Next in, to a massive nation wide cry of “who?” was Danielle Marr.

She found fame in the Irish reality series Dublin Wives but claims that she was by far the most intelligent and switched on member of the cast. Something tells me that an unfriendly working environment follows Danielle everywhere she goes. “I don't think I'm intimidating.” she said intimidatingly. Can't see her lasting long, but we might get a couple of entertaining rows from her before she goes.

The next celebrity to enter was Dustin Diamond.

Looking at this guy, you'd have no idea that you were looking at Screech from Saved By The Bell. He might well have a few stories to trade with Danielle as soon after leaving the series, Dustin wrote a expose book on his time on the show, which didn't leave his cast mates in the most favourable of lights. He apparently went on to make a sex tape. Hopefully it was called Saved by The Bellend or something. For now, he seemed very keen to get started and enthusiastically strode his way up the stairs and into the house. One to watch I think.

He was followed by the oh so quiet and reserved Charlotte Crosby.

Perhaps one of the most hilarious and shameless entrances to the BB house in BB house entrancing history. Appearing from the Eye Charlotte screamed her way down towards Emma before telling the nation she was about to piss herself because she’s ‘been holding in a massive wee’. If you’ve seen Geordie Shore this won’t have come as to much of a shock to you, Charlotte already being the Charlotte we know and love. Uncouth, unladylike, uncensored but unbelievably endearing so she'll prove popular with most viewers… apart from our Blogger Rob (you may have guessed this from his LIVE tweeting last night) here’s his view… “Now, I have to say, I cannot stand Geordie Shore and Charlotte pretty much summed up everything I thought about the show throughout her VT. Apparently her most infamous moment on the show was when she accidentally wet herself over somebody she was about to have sex with. She also says that the cameras that follow her on Shore have caught her “shitting mesen” as well. But we've all done that apparently so that's alright.”

What's one more reality star? Mario Falcone was the next one in.

We haven't had a The Only Way Is Essex star for a while, and so Mario has come to fill the void we so desperately needed filling, following in the footsteps of the ever so likable Amy Childs and Kirk Norcross. Be still my beating heart. He gave us the usual “yeah I'm looking for love” shite, unaware that the only single person he was going to be meeting in there was Lauren. Lario? Mauren? It could work.

She was one of the first rumoured for this series, and next in was Carol McGiffin.

Following in the footsteps of Denise Welch and Colleen Nolan, Carol is the third Loose Woman to enter the house. She's very well known for her opinions, but seems to deliver them with a smile. Should be entertaining. Doesn't seem afraid to get drunk either, mainly demonstrated by the fact that she looked half pissed as she went in. Excellent.

And finally was ex footie manager and player Ron Atkinson.

Ron is most famous for accidentally saying something very naughty about a black football player when he believed his microphone was turned off, unaware that what he had said was being broadcast to the entire nation. So long as he remembers that his mic is on at all times whilst in the house, he should be fine.

Big Brother then gathered all housemates to the sofas, under the watchful and unseen eye of the Cult of Celebrity, who had been looking more and more bored as the evening went on. The housemates were then instructed to decide who were the two most famous housemates in the room within one minute. They quickly came to the decision that the two Corrie legends were the most famous. Vicky and Bruce's reward? A huge double bed, all to themselves. In the garden, completely unguarded from whatever the weather should wish to chuck at them. Brilliant. How this will connect with the Cult of Celebrity and how long they'll have to stay out there remains to be seen. But guaranteed, we'll be here to take you through it all the way!

What do you think of this years Housemates? Let us know in the comments or over on Twitter.

By (mostly) @RobInnes87 with tiny snippets from @ItsBizNews and @CHEEKYsausage