24.8.13

CBB - Week One


Friday 30th Highlights.


I don't want her to drug me up!” - Courtney.

It might have come one eviction too late, but Ron Atkinson was evicted tonight and I have to say I'm very happy with the result. Ron was an interesting addition to the house, but even being one of , if not THE oldest to have entered the house in the show's history wasn't enough to save him in the end. Probably best really as Ron was getting a tad stagnant as a housemate. I didn't really like him much towards the end of his run either – that weird little go he had at Dustin about the English language and the thought of him going on and on and on and on and on in the Diary Room was enough for me to want to remove him myself...


 Plus, he made the majority of the housemates feel safe – and frankly, I don't like my housemates safe. Eviction aside though, the main topic of the highlights tonight was Lauren. Tonight showed a side to her that demonstrated just how fragile she really is. So much so, that it is very easy to form an argument that she's too fragile to even be in the pressure cooker that is Big Brother. She's starting to come across as very needy and a little bit whiney and it's also clear that without Courtney, she'd be finding life in there almost too difficult. If Courtney had left tonight, how would she have coped? Because the main story of tonight's highlights stemmed Courtney's birthday. Trying to put on a brave face after Courtney choose Dustin to join her for her slumber party instead of her.


Lauren quickly came to her best friend's attention when Courtney came back with a stomach ache after eating too much cake and pizza. Big Brother quickly called Lauren to the Diary Room after she dropped a couple of tablets into Courtney's mouth and from here Lauren's day just got worse. Lauren pointed out tonight that she lives with her family and has very little contact with the outside world. When put like this, it's easy to see why, to her, simply popping a couple of tablets in somebody's mouth would seem normal. I watched a documentary about Lauren and her family recently that makes a lot of things make sense (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq-q3Un7ZcM ) - take a look and see what you think.As endearing as Lauren may be sometimes, I can't see her surviving many more evictions, and she's obviously going to be up a lot. Not only did she receive the most nominations the last round, but she's managed to successfully wind up pretty much everyone in the house.


 But then, Carol, Sophie and Bruce didn't come across great. Carol basically goaded Lauren into having having a go at Sophie and then denied all involvement , Sophie came across as nothing other than a complete bitch and then there was Bruce. Ignoring for a moment the fact that this was the most interesting thing he's done since he went in, Bruce lost his temper very quickly. I was watching this on the Live Feed when it happened. Lauren wasn't in a great place, and Bruce storming out furiously shouting would not have helped. He clearly has a temper on him... and if Big Brother pushes the right buttons, we could see an almighty explosion. 


Put up against the wrong people, Lauren's time in there is numbered, particularly with a vote to save. Has she learnt from today's events? Only time will tell – but the first thing she needs to do is give Courtney some breathing space...




Thursday 29th Highlights.


Danielle annoying everyone (Louie what do you do for money then) she knew she was leaving so tried to cause as much mischief as possible which makes me wish she would of stayed. It obviously annoyed Louie has he had to then go and bitch about her to Mario. It's unreal how bitchy these Celebrities are being. He then continues to bitch about her in the diary room, I don't think he understood that she was doing it on purpose. Get over it Spencer.



Why's Carol acting like the boss of the house telling Lauren how much she can eat and she even has her 'own' cup. She then tells Charlotte to recycle her tin thinking she can boss people around. She needs to calm down and mind her own business. Did Louie really call Danielle an extra acting like he's not an extra. I've not seen or heard from him now for a good year. Carol and Louie laughing when Danielle got boo'd showed how immature they both are. I think if Louie carries on like this he's out on Friday.

Lauren's antiques road show needs to be turned into a real show. She was taking it so serious and I think she's going to make it to the final. Carol and Louie bitching about Danielle during it was out of order. They're both the biggest bitches in there. Charlottes fried egg socks would go for a fortune on Ebay, Bruce's ring and story behind it was one of the more touching ones, it was really nice seeing him talk about his mum in that brief moment. Lauren is really really nice proving this when she gave Danielle the ear rings to keep. She's a finalist already for me.


Ron & Vicky's nomination task wasn't a big surprise we all knew they were going to vote Louie especially has Vicky hates him. Louise’s fake happiness really annoyed me when he got put up for eviction. He's playing a game and wants to win. 'Babe I don't give a fuck' of course you don't. Louie nominated Vicky cause she nominated him? Tactical or petty?

Bruce couldn't even remember Charlottes name when nominating that's a good enough reason for him to be up. I loved Mario's quote about having to care about Lauren 'It's not a care home it's a house' hilarious. It Seems like Lauren isn't that popular with housemates after all. Dustin isn't one for 'sticking with a fellow American' after nominating Courtney. It sounds like she's filthy though she probably gets her Grandad I mean Husband to clean up after her at home.


Carol makes everything better telling Charlotte “not to fucking cry”. She doesn't realise Charlottes still only a young girl and if you watch Geordie Shore you'll realise how emotional Charlotte can get. She and Lauren both have nothing to worry about they're safe in this weeks eviction. I know i've said this a lot in this blog but Carol again is a massive bitch. Calling Charlotte a 'Geordie slag' for nothing she's a horrible person, drunk and sober, and I personally think she's wrecking her TV career here! It's a good job she's ready for retiring.

It's only been on a week and this house has been one of the bitchiest yet. There's definitely lots more drama, arguments and bitchiness to come. I also think Abz and Dustin are going to become really good friends in the house. opposites attract and these two definitely do.



Wednesday 28th Highlights.


“What's her name? The one that's going?” - Louie

And so as our first eviction of the series arrives, it's Danielle who ends up getting the chop. Not a massive surprise, but I do think that the wrong person went. I just can't see Ron giving us much more entertainment than he has already...and let's be honest, that isn't too much as it is.

As much respect as I have for a 74 year old giving the show a go, sitting in a bath full of fried breakfast, eating unpleasant stuff and so on, there's far more interesting people in the house, Danielle included. She had the potential to cause a lot of drama in the house and I think she had it pretty spot on when she pointed out that had she survived week one, she might have had a better chance.


Danielle managed to rub a few housemates up the wrong way – before she left she managed to successfully annoy Carol, Sophie and Louie – the three gobbiest members of the house and her staying could really have resulted in some fireworks. 

I quite liked Danielle. Well, I say liked. Liking somebody as a housemate doesn't necessarily mean I think they're a nice person – I've seen a few clips of Dublin Wives and she actually seems a right bitch. But that's exactly why she should of stayed – Sophie VS Danielle would have been an epic argument and was something that was only just starting to get going. Enjoy Ron VS Bruce guys.

Meanwhile “back to yesterday in the house,” as a great woman once said,  and Charlotte woke to find she'd had a little accident in the night. Well, I say little. It's a wonder the other's didn't wake up to find her drowned in her own urine judging by the size of the patch she'd left on the bed. Not that Charlotte gave a monkey's. In fact, she said, she wishes she'd done it on everyone else's. There is a grudging side of me that does sort of like Charlotte, and even if she ends up facing eviction on Friday (it has today been revealed she does), I can't see her going anywhere. But that is minging. Like seriously. She sleeps right next door to the toilet doesn't she? And there was no shame! “Oh...you must have been drunk..” said Courtney weakly, staring in horror at the patch on the bed. “You'll have to turn the mattress over.” said Vicki matter-of-factly. “I don't get paid enough for this.” said the cleaner, most annoyed.


This week's shopping task came to an end with Carol and Mario having to work out who had bitched about who, leaving Carol pretty red faced as about half of the questions were about her sprouting insults like a thing possessed about Sophie. The trout comment was included (though not in the highlights) so I doubt this is the last we've heard about it.


The evening ended with eviction survivors Ron and Vicky being forced to nominate one person for public vote. After a five hour speech from Ron, who wanted to know if they were on or off air before they made a decision (once bitten, eh big man?) they settled on a delighted Louie. He doesn't want to be there, and frankly I'm only too happy to put him out of his misery. He annoys me more than words can say. Let him prance out in his glittery suit. And obviously not fall down the stairs. Obviously. I just don't think he's very nice - he's had a go at a couple of people, and both times it's been pretty much uncalled for - Vicky was pretty funny when she was drunk. "You made a complete twat of yourself." Louie informed her. As opposed to the man who leaps about like a deranged puppet on a string? But insists he doesn't do that professionally anymore? Please public. I beg of you. Get him OUT.




Tuesday 27th Highlights


I keep calling Louie 'Spencer.'
Oh, I keep calling him Louie.” - Danielle and Lauren
  
One of my favourite things about watching Celebrity Big Brother is when you get celebrities that have got ideas so far above their station that they're touching the stratosphere.
Danielle seems to be firmly under the impression that she's bigger than she actually is and I think this is one of the main reasons that she's so annoyed that she's been nominated for eviction. Vicky too seems pretty narked with facing the chop, which has resulted in a really strange dynamic of playground giggling and bitching between the two of them.

I have to say, I think Danielle is a bad influence on Vicky. When the two of them are together, Vicky, who at face value seems to be an independent and free thinking woman is easily egged on by everything Danielle says and does. Not that I'm whining about this – on the contrary, I actually find the pair of them very entertaining. Certainly more so than Ron, who aside from making the odd questionable comment isn't really going to offer much more in my view. Plus the fact that this may well be the last chance we get in a while to get rid of him. He's a nice enough bloke it seems, but is Big Brother really the place for him? Older men tend to do better in the jungle, and if he was there I'd be supporting Ron with banners. But the Big Brother environment is harsher than that. You have to play a better game than just wandering around being the house Granddad. Or at least be deaf and sleep all day. (Yes I'm still bitter – and what?)


Housemates awoke to their first ever shopping task – and what do we love more than a task that is created to make celebrities look stupid? Very little I think is the answer you're looking for.

Time was of the essence this week as housemates not only had to be Big Brother's speaking clock, they were also required to man the tree house as part of a cuckoo clock that had been erected (Oh grow up) in the garden. With Louie dressed as the cuckoo and various housemates kitted up in lederhosen to represent those figures that whack the bell every hour, this was at face value a task that should encourage high spirits. That is until you throw in a good old eating task.


Fermented egg, slices of lemon, anchovies, dog food and pickled onion amongst other delightful comestibles were on offer. Vicky and Courtney flatly refused their dishes and not a word was said. Mainly cause everybody else was too close to vomiting, but I'm sure they were bitching in their heads.

Lauren continues to delight. I'm starting to wonder if her derogatory comments on BOTS were more her trying to please as opposed to her being an outright nasty person. Let's face it, when you're teamed up with Pete Burns, ho wouldn't turn into a hateful individual?

With Vicky and Danielle bitching at Louie and Sophie and Big Brother forcing them into unattractive clothes, it's no wonder the housemates turn to drink and tonight Charlotte got herself nice and hammered...or did she? Carol was quite vocal on the fact that she thought the Geordie lass was putting it all on. Having never watched Geordie Shore, I have no idea what Charlotte's usual quota is before she's plastered, but I'm told it's not very much. Maybe Carol was jealous of not being the loosest woman in the house for a change. Or maybe she was right – Charlotte knows what her audience wants to see – her making a tit of herself and losing control of her bodily functions, which, as it turns out she did as thanks (really...thank you SO much.) to an exclusive clip on BOTS, Charlotte awoke to find she'd wet the bed. Now, this is all well and good, but she then proceeds to shout about it to everyone and then actually call Courtney over to examine the evidence. Sometimes there are no words.




Monday 26th Highlights

She Looks Like A Trout - Carol

We start with a recap of what has happened previously, and we start with an opening shot of Ron Atkinson getting out of bed in the morning. I was halfway through eating a sandwich at this point, to say that it put me right off is an understatement.
Bruce and Sophie are in the smoking area bitching about Danielle while Charlotte & Courtney are in the bedroom saying how they think Danielle has been unfairly put up for nomination.

Danielle is having her hair done by Lauren, and I was just thinking, would you let Lauren do your hair? Louis commented on Lauren having poodle hair, which I can’t disagree with. Suddenly, we see that Danielle has a massive clump of hair stuck in a brush, but thankfully Charlotte & Courtney come to the rescue with a blob of hair conditioner and surprisingly, considering who we are talking about, common sense. I’m happy to report that Danielle’s hair was fine, and that there was no split ends hurt in the process of making this TV show.


While all this was going on Abz was in the diary room revealing that he had Asperger’s which I found really brave, not just saying that in the diary room, but how relaxed and accepting he was of this fact. It does show that no matter what, if you are determined to succeed nothing should hold you back. I’ve never been a huge Five fan, but I found a whole new level of respect for Abz. Never thought I’d get that from watching CBB this year.


After the break, we are treated to the celebrities performing their talents. We had Bruce and Ron sing some swinging 50s songs, Dustin performing a comedy routine, Danielle making a pigs ear of her comedy routine, Abz did a rap/poem, Mario recreated his first scene in TOWIE & Louis did an impression of Louis (not sure if that’s a talent or not, lol). Along with this, Lauren did some burlesque which made me cringe big time, Carol did a skit Loose Women-esque, Vicky recalled her time in Corrie & as far as I could tell, Sophie and Courtney basically walked around with next to nothing on. The eventual winner of the task Charlotte, did a re-creation of what I assume is a scene from Geordie Shore. Now I’ve never watched GS, and although the skit was quite funny, I don’t think I’ll be watching anytime soon. As her reward she got to put her big chops around a burger and chips.


We then see that the cult have been called together to decide the third and final nominee. What made me laugh was Sophie was saying over and over that she wasn’t going to get involved with the decision making process, but then kept talking over everyone. I really don’t like her. In the end they settled on Vicky.

After the break, all the housemates are gathered on the sofa, and I instantly turned to my girlfriend and said they will reveal who the cult is and show them a video package, and for one of the first times in my life I was right! They showed the cults reaction to them entering the house, all the bitchest comments and of course the nominations.

Louis, fair play to him, put his hands up and said it’s a game, it has to be played like that, wheras trout face…….I mean Sophie was going with the whole reality cliché of “it’s been badly edited”. This did however lead to Courtney getting upset with Lauren, with the former thinking that the later has been faking her personality. No Courtney, Lauren really is that weird! They all made up, and it seemed fitting that Lauren would then get her earing caught in the cushion she was lying on.

In the garden, Bruce was getting upset at Vicky being nominated, but I didn’t really understand why. Danielle then wanted to confront Sophie’s comment about her not belonging in the house, and I was hoping for a proper fight, but after some heated words, it seems that Danielle couldn’t’ see through Sophie’s bull.

We then had a weird 5 minutes where everyone was bitching about each other in different parts of the house, and I couldn’t work out why, then I realised that they had all been drinking. The best moment was of course Carol calling Sophie “Trout Face” which shall be her official name from now on.

Carol did a very good impression of my mum drunk, wearing the hat that is 40 years too young for her, flirting with younger men & of course the “I’m not drunk I want another drink” while tipping half the contents of her current drink all over her. Luckily, Mario and Charlotte were there for the rescue and took her to bed.


Vicky was then shown in the garden, muttering to herself about how much she hates Louis, and how no one would help her if she got as drunk as Carol. This is where the show came to a close.

I really enjoyed tonight’s show. For various reasons I hadn’t had chance to really get into Celebrity Big Brother up until this show, and as expected, as soon as I had the chance to really watch the show I got sucked in. I really really don’t like Sophie, and surprisingly I find myself really liking Abz and Louis, the two people I thought I would instantly hate. All in all very good episode with a nice twist half way through.



Sunday 25th Highlights


Put these words into the right order. Me .. NUTS.. driving!” – Carol

F*nny farts, bunny bludgeoning and cake murder thus began what promises to be an epic season of CBB and those are just Charlotte (who CANNOT balance noodles on each nipple so the entire globe must let it go! Her wide-stretching mouth is more her party trick for giving blowers!) antics! Don't take her to Vietnam, mind as it's not a destination she would choose since South Park's Cartman made the numpty believe the country is still at war. She, Carol and Louie would sit at the cool kid's table if BB was a school and have formed a terrific threesome (that Mario has not as of YET slept with!!) which I shall name Caharlotie .. (hm that needs some work it's not quite as snappy as Ginxter).


Vicky equates the wet bucket of fag ends to her career; in this zoo of zelebs she's not the only one whose occupation has burned to ashes!! Half of these lot I'd never heard of before in my 27 years of life and on Launch night I was perplexed as to where all the other famous people were. Word to the wise (from the wonderful), BB producers: next time go extra heavy on the CELEBRITY por favor. In a fun twist for my viewing pleasure, six-stoned, pocket-sized Barbie doll Courtney's voice no longer has me wanting to amputate my ears. She comes across very sweet and mellow when she's sober so I hope BB are as tight as a duck's arse with the alcohol. She's hit it off with the 'I'm multi-talented' (she so humbly said) former child star, Lauren and more so her 956 pairs of shoes and shocking stockings with suspenders wardrobe! House interactions are comfortable so Dustin is literally loving every minute.

In a two-fold bid to scandalise HM's and have them cast aspersions on each other as well as notifying us why the inhabitants are indeed in the limelight, the guess the most interesting story (as voted by viewers) task commenced. They correctly answered 9 out of the 13 but all this succeeded in doing was unfold how UNINTERESTING most of their debauched pasts are. We'll never truly know until we read their published memoirs inevitably to go on sell after their stint on the show ;) (Louie has already written his with a friend) It's not a shocker that a boyband member or teen actor bedded hundreds nay thousands of girls. Carol's 7 year celibacy (not even a 'finger or fudge') Courtney rejecting a $5million porn deal ('GOOD GIRL!') and Louie having his tongue sewn after a trampolining accident causing his speech impediment were the double whammies within the group.


Cult of Celebrity secretly convened to conduct their second ceremony of judgement. Louie chose ABZ as he likes his own company and is quite closed and contained. Sophie opts for DANIELLE because she hasn't been in the public eye and doesn't believe she'll gain anything out of this as her intention is to be famous. Lauren picks COURTNEY (no not because of her lovely clothes) for the reason that she is quite well off and has a lot going for her where she lives and doesn't need exposure as much as other people might. They settle for Danielle as Abs needs the show while she has security, doesn't need a profile and none of them know why she's even there. Neither do we! Does she have compromising photos of one of the BB execs?!!


Ron dude don't say every Ronglish thought out loud!! He was raked over the coals after his faux pas about Danielle not carrying a bomb under her makeshift head scarf, for his unacceptable language. The rosy-cheeked merry Father Crimbo (for Charlotte) apologised profusely for his complete oversight, assuring that it would never happen again and he didn't mean anything offensive by it. Another formal warning issued makes me so angry I could PUNCH A SINFULLY CHOCOLATEY CAKE; surely his furry moobies flaunting is potentially more objectionable to the public? So why oh why I ask is it acceptable for BB themselves to repeat and broadcast something they deem so dreadful??

Danielle (once romantically linked with Dane Bowers but let's face it who HASN'T been?) is sad to have been nominated, so much so that most of what she blathers is indiscernible to human hearing. It's safe to say that she didn't take it well, crying that nobody has asked her about her family and how her most important job is motherhood. Bet you that beneath her blubs she's seething at her 'talentless f**kwit' 'supporting cast!' Aww at least Abs feels blessed to be there with these beautiful people.

Sophie is the new Charlie machine of inappropriately putting her foot in it over the whole bl**dy face lift thing with Carol. It may be your area of expertise schweetie but she does not want to be introduced to your 60 year old but 40-looking friend. And BABE, it is none of your business if Carol's partner sh*gs her senseless or not. The woman doesn't tire of her unwelcome pep talks finally pleading with Abs to come out of his shell, 'the one with the sparkle in his eyes not the old bad one' as everyone will love him. He hears her, appreciates her words and gets her message to be 'him' and to stop sitting back and shine because he should fight for his place and deserves it more than anyone. But BB is the polar opposite of anything he does; he won't be the 'mayhem of the house' any time soon but he's warming up. There's no contract on how bubbly and vivacious he is so leave the lad be! SOAR ABS SOARRRRRRR, it comes highly recommended by Callum. :D


OTHER THINGS I LOVED: Retrained mechanic Bruce becoming beetroot-faced when Lauren reveals that she least wanted to live with Les Battersby (as the character is transphobic) Ron's jazzy singing complete with finger snapping of his Christmas single 'It's Christmas let's give love a try' then getting down with the kids in his baseball cap turned to the side 'innit', Courtney's getting 'GOOSE PIMPLES' at how romantic it was for Vicky and her now-hubby to move in together the night after their 1st date, Lauren hoisting a boob into her probs 7th lingerie Dita Von Teese outfit change of the day, Danielle's hopeless beat boxing along to Ron's rendition of Feeling good, Charlotte's harty belly laugh after learning that Abs once burned down a Dublin hotel room and Louie congratulating Courtney on having 'nice t*ts' after checking out her implants in the loo!



Saturday 24th Highlights


Better out than in.” - Big Brother.

 Oh dear. Ofcom really should have Channel 5 on speed dial

As the sun rose on day 2 in the house, things seemed to be pretty amicable between our housemates. Charlotte was eating, Lauren was stretching and a number of them were wandering around with sore heads trying to remember if they'd done anything to destroy their careers the night before. Well Charlotte wasn't, it was just another day in the office for her.

I thought Lauren came across brilliantly tonight. She was frank and honest about her progression from a man to a woman (the bits she could remember) and despite Louie's, what I thought were, rather intruding questions, she held her head high and unashamed. Good on you girl.

Later that day, the cult made their final decision about who was to be the first to face the public vote this week – in one of the most ridiculous and hilarious parodies of anything I've ever seen. All three, wrapped in cloaks looking like a trio of rebellious gay Freemasons and with dark Latin chanting in the background, decided on Ron as their first choice. And then finished the proceedings with a recital of oath and a deep nod of the head. Amazing. As the Cult of Celebrity entered the house in a completely unsuspicious way (side glance to camera) Mario was in detective Dan mode, albeit much less moany, and had the twist sussed within seconds. So far Mario is coming across intelligent, genuine and some what of a gent... who'd have thought it?!


But of course, the topic that has got everybody's tongue wagging is Carol's formal warning. I feel I should point out here that Live Feed last night showed that Carol was hammered by the time this point in the evening came around, and her tongue was a little more loose than it perhaps should have been. In fact, I'm convinced that had she been sober, she wouldn't have said anything at all.

She was explaining to Louis what exactly had gone wrong in Ron's life – specifically the particular word that was used that really got him into trouble. Ironically, whilst explaining that Ron didn't think his mic was on and then used the word...she clearly forget her mic was able to pick up whispering, said the word and was hoisted up to the Diary Room for a massive telling off. The word being ...well. You know the one.

It has to be said that at face value it does look rather ridiculous. Carol's use of the word was bleeped out, and yet when Big Brother used it whilst explaining to her why she was being given a formal warning, it was said in all it's horrible glory. Thing is, if both versions had been bleeped out, the majority of the public wouldn't have had a clue what was going on. Maybe saying it twice in the same episode would have broken some kind of telly rule. I don't know.

My issue with it comes from the fact that the conversation Carol was having with Louie was in a deadly whisper. The kind of whisper you use when you're bitching about someone meaning that only Louis was really privy to it. This leads me to wonder what the hell the point was in bringing Carol to the Diary Room and broadcasting the fact that she'd used it in the first place. She wasn't using it to be clever or offensive, she was simply explaining to Louis what had happened. There is a train of thought that says that it should surely be up to Ron to do that, but the point is Big Brother could have simply had a discreet word with her and warned her not to say it again in any context. One of the main complaints of this year's Big Brothers has been that warnings have been handed out for ridiculous reasons and tonight really didn't do anything to quash that. In some ways it's understandable – the show has a duty to perform in the way of making sure the public don't get their innocent ears filled with nastiness (although Louis' jacket on launch night is fair game apparently) but there are times when you wonder if the show is just giving out these warnings to say “See? We do jump on naughty housemates if they do things wrong. Don't we look after you?” And that really isn't what Big Brother is about. After the race row, the show went into slight overkill with warnings and removals and the same thing seems to be happening again after the Conor mess from last year. There is a sense that Big Brother can't do right for doing wrong at the minute, but the public are fickle creatures. Maybe one day Big Brother and the public will find some common ground over issues like this, but that day was certainly not today.

By @RobInnes87 & a minute bit from @ItsBizNews


Friday - The Big LIVE Twist


"My bunny is wet, degraded and foamy!” - Courtney.

Amazing what a bit of power can do to get the bitching started as soon as is physically possible. No sooner where Louie, Sophie and Lauren sat on the chairs watching their other housemates entrances, the claws were out. Fashion, lifestyles, no stone was left unturned as the Cult of Celebrity watched their new housemates appear before them.


It's Day one in the Celebrity Big Brother House – and already Gina and Dexter are a far distant memory (Frankly I've already forgotten Sam). Impressively, Vicki and Charlotte had problems within about two minutes of meeting each other as Vicki gently tried to remind Charlotte, who was on her second glass of bubbles before the doors had even closed behind her, that there might not be enough for the rest of the housemates who hadn't come in yet. This didn't faze Charlotte at all, who spent the rest of the episode getting as drunk as possible and confiding to Big Brother that Vicki was a bit of a “stupid cow.”


Of course, anybody who was watching Live Feed on Launch Night will testify that Courtney was by far the star of the show. She too managed to get quite drunk very quickly and was soon in the midst of an awful drama with her cuddly rabbit (called Doug Bunny for those that were wondering - and why wouldn't you?). Somehow she'd managed to explode a load of shampoo all over poor Doug, but his troubles were far from over as Courtney decided the best course of action was to pull Doug through the mangle which only succeeded in splitting him open. As I say though, this was nothing compared to what she was like on the feed, pulling the garden camera about, foraging through the supplies and declaring sugar as toilet paper and trying Weetabix for the first time. She will be a fabulous housemate.


Doug Bunny's life meanwhile lies in Mario's hands who randomly declared that he was a bit of a tailor on the quiet. Probably had quite a lot of practice sewing his clothes back together after angry ex girlfriends have torn them apart with scissors.

Talking of Mario, Abz from 5ive (will that work as well as Claire From Steps?) decided that Mario didn't shake his hand or communicate with him enough on his entrance. Mario it would seem had his eyes on Carol of all people, convinced that when (not if, when) Carol's engagement went to pot, he'd be there to pick up the pieces. I can't wait till Carol watches this back. Also, Carol needs to remain hammered throughout the rest of the series – she is too funny.

Of course, the main tag line to Friday was “The Big Twist.” Frankly, I've seen bigger twists on a motorway but it could prove interesting. Lauren, Sophie and Louie are now part of the house, having made their entrance LIVE through one of the doors that probably should have been used in the civilian series. Emma explained to us that they would enter the house one at a time bearing gifts, claiming to have just been put in the house by producers. Housemates were slightly suspicious by the fact that there was no crowd noise, but as soon as Louie appeared with alcohol in his hands, they lost interest in any conspiracy theories and scrambled for glasses. More fool them, because unbeknownst to the housemates, whoever was handed the bottle of champagne first by Louie would signify who the Cult of Celebrity had decided to put up for eviction first. Having toyed between Ron, Courtney and Carol, it was with some surprise that we saw Louie thrust the bottle into Ron's hands (whilst giving the disgruntled ex footie player a camp little air kiss).


This means then that Ron becomes the first to face eviction on Wednesday, and the cult will be choosing two more over the next couple of days, unbeknownst to the rest of the house who think it's the public making these choices! As if we'd be allowed that much power with housemates who are being paid.

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