Big Brother - The Final Countdown

This series is finally coming to an end and we say ‘finally’ with more than just a tinge of relief. It’s been quite possibly one of the worst series in recent years, if not of all time. But that’s not down to the actual housemates, they’ve been wonderful, they’ve given us quite literally everything; it’s down to the producers and the constant contrived twists… (But that’s a whole different article coming soon)

Back to the final. Six housemates are left and lets face it only a few have an actual chance of winning… one regrettably so. Here we round up the final six and their chances of winning along with how very, very wrong our first impressions of this bunch were…


Despite a handful of moments where he severely let himself down, most notably the comments towards Jale on two occasions (maggot and the pool quip) we like Ash, we really do. We find ourselves laughing along with his infectious, uncontrollable giggle and he’s one of the few we think we’d actually be able to live with; willingly.

First Impressions.

Oh look, a model. We’ll take him seriously when he has a half decent haircut. Gets by on his look, is ‘well known’ on the Manchester party scene… by rights we should hate him, in fact he should scream wannabe! But somehow his laid back, slick attitude endears him.”

We take back the haircut comment; it grew on us after about 10 minutes. His laid back, slick attitude definitely did endear us though. He maintained a relaxed, cool persona apart from when he was ‘shitting himself’ as the lights dimmed red (which was adorable). Our first impressions of Ash weren’t too far off.


You never know! He’s got an army of fans including Hollyoaks lovely, Steph Waring, drumming up support for him so it’s not entirely impossible. Most likely outcome is 4th but after much deliberation and weighing up he might be our personal winner… controversial.


She was fairly anonymous the first few weeks and when she did come to the forefront it was in a moany double act with Danielle. But then it all changed. She grew more confident, oozed a composed maturity and refused to stoop down to Helen’s level of vile nastiness. Every twist went against her in some form or another and yet she’s still there, head held high.

First Impressions.

She was just 3, yes 3, when the first ever BB began! That alone should give us reason to hate her, add in the fact she’s bloody beautiful and bam! But somehow we don’t, she’s adorable. Baby of the house couldn’t be sweeter unless she had hundreds and thousands sprinkled all over her. Not sure that the Northern Irish nipper can handle the seedy hellhole where dreams die.”

Half and half with first impressions here. She is incredibly sweet but she also has an inner strength and resilience that meant she handled that seedy hell hole with grace.


She has to win, she just has to. For this series to not be known as the series that killed Big Brother, good has to overcome evil. We haven’t always liked Ashleigh but that soon changed once Danielle left the house. Without sounding like one of ‘those’ people, we actually predicted she would win before she even entered the house. After reading her housemate bio in the press pack we uttered the words ‘she’ll win’. Yes only our Mum can vouch for that and yes it was for very different reasons in which she will win, but still… we called it.


We had high expectations for Chris, we envisaged a Victor Meldrew type character but that wasn’t quite what we got. He hasn’t been the most forthright of housemates and that’s perhaps left him looking a little two faced on occasions, but there is no questioning his loyalty to those he became close to. His relationship with Ashleigh was endearing, despite those 5 minutes where it got a little creepy and it showed a hugely caring side Chris.

First Impressions.

Our polite little entirely vanilla cupcake of comedy with a NORMAL size ego. That’s because he’s one of the few who has not walked straight off a catwalk. He’s naturally funny, a little bit grumpy and has a funny shaped head, what’s not to like?”

Our first impressions were pretty spot on, not quite as funny as we had hoped and in the way we had hoped but he still had more wit in his little fingers than most.


No. He’s a nice guy and he’s been a good housemate but for us he’s not winning material. His behaviour towards Pav really let him down and he hasn’t entertained us in leaps and bounds. He does however deserve to finish above some.


In the beginning we almost forgot he was there, housemates such as Pauline and Helen treated him poorly and this put him firmly back in his shell. After a few weeks his confidence finally grew and he turned out to be an intelligent, kind, albeit a little odd, nice guy. We grew tired of the Mark/Christopher shenanigans after about 15 minutes but it did highlight exactly why someone like Christopher deserves to be in the final over those like Mark. Honest, genuine, loveable housemate.

First Impressions.

The journalistISH, greatness aspirer tears strips off Kim Kardashian devil worshippers devoid of personality yet has willingly walked into a house filled to the brim with these superficial spawns of Satan! We don't really get why he wants to associate with those that repulse him. He’ll either be a saint or sinner. Seems intelligent and witty enough to deal with the power hungry people in the house.”

We were fairly wide of the mark in our first impressions. We assumed he was confident and egotistical and valued his own self-importance. We couldn’t have been more wrong. Our last line was spot on though; he dealt with the power hungry like a pro.


Not for us. But we couldn’t find fault in those that do vote him as their winner. He has the traits of a classic Big Brother champ, he’s had the journey with all the put downs and the personal growth. Unfortunately for Christopher, Ashleigh has had that similar journey.


A pass to the final meant we were stuck with Helen no matter what, unless she got kicked out of course (which lets face it should have happened weeks ago) Helen could do and say as she pleased without fear of facing eviction due to her actions and she certainly took advantage of that. Looking past the vile, cruel and nasty remarks she’s certainly been a great housemate, all for the worst possible reasons of course, and it would have been a very different series without her.

First Impressions.

The bolshy Bolton babe seems like a normal lass that we'd actually get on with. It remains to be seen whether she’ll fall under the normal and bloody boring category or the normal and we-can-so-relate-she-has-to-win category

We’re ashamed at how bad our first impressions were here. Helen would be the last person you’d guess the above was written about. There’s only one thing we got right, she is normal; unfortunately. She’s exactly the type of loud mouth, outspoken, excuse for a person the world is shamefully home to, it’s just normally these people are on Jeremy Kyle not Big Brother.


God we hope not! Momentum has been gathering in her favour for the past few weeks with certain ex-housemates and the shows nightly edit spearheading the vote Helen campaign. If she wins it’ll be the death of Big Brother, the conspiracy theories will prove too obvious to deny and any lingering hopes of naivety that it’s still a show we can love will be destroyed.


Pointless Pav, bless him. He had a rough time in the house and none of it was his fault. He played the sympathy card with expert execution and swerved a couple of evictions where it looked like his fate was sealed. Somehow he’s made it to the final, we don’t particularly mind that he’s there but that’s because he sort of feels irrelevant, again, through no fault of his own. Being thrown in at any point is always tough but with this bunch of housemates it was all the more difficult, he was always fighting a losing battle. It’s a shame he wasn’t there from the beginning, his wise and positive outlook could have really helped in certain situations.

First Impressions.

We didn’t record our first impressions of Pav but they were mostly based around the word ‘meh’. He seemed nice, intelligent and that was about it. In his first couple of weeks we wouldn’t have noticed if he’d gone instead of Biannca but for some reason we developed a little soft spot for Pav.


No. The only way Pav will win is if the voting public thinks ‘fuck it’. Lets fully rebel against what the powers that be want to happen, lets really annoy all the housemates that told him he didn’t deserve to be there, lets vote for Pav. Unlikely.

Final Predictions.

What we THINK will happen…

1st Ashleigh
2nd Helen
3rd Christopher
4th Ash
5th Chris
6th Pav

What we WANT to happen…

1st Ashleigh
2nd Ash
3rd Christopher
4th Pav
5th Chris
6th Helen

What are your final predictions?

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