It’s officially; unashamedly, extravagantly,
back! The X Factor returned with a Bond inspired visual masterpiece that could
only have been created by the wonderful Ben Winston. Simon, is back. Cheryl, is
back. Mel, has arrived. Louis, will never leave.
Thankfully ‘The Room’ has returned; easily one of
our favourite rounds, however it’s been unnecessarily jazzed up with backing
tracks completely missing the point; more of that later. Judges introduced,
excitement teased, it was time for the first act to face the music…
Blonde Electric.
A sister duo who claimed they have toured the
world but not yet sang in a helicopter or submarine. They’re yet to master the
art of a coherent conversation and somehow managed to do the impossible; they
made a Jessie J song even more annoying. However if you ignore the screeching
they weren’t completely awful. Mel claimed they were that annoying they were
good and Cheryl's words; once she eventually got them out, were that they
weren't 'her cup of tea.' They bagged enough yes’s to make it through but we’d
rather have Jedward back.
With the revolution of guitar pop and acts such
as The Vamps topping the charts, this year there was an obvious rise in the
number of wannabe Ed Sheerans. We have to admit we love a bit of The A Team,
but lighten up people! Cue a montage of guitar playing clones and Simon
smashing one up on the floor. Then in pop’s another boy with a guitar; surely a
coincidence…
Reece Bibby.
Inspired by real homegrown acts such as Oasis,
Reece brought a much-needed shade of colour to the show, without leaving the
vocals behind. He sang a great acoustic version of Sam Smith's 'Latch' and they
all loved it. Reece was straight through to the arena stage and his family and
friends absolutely swamped him. Louis used the word ‘potential’ for the
first time in the series and pointed out that he’s ‘only 15’ so we’ve got a
good feeling about him.
Charlie Jones.
We feel a bit dirty about raising an eyebrow in
aesthetic appreciation for Charlie, in our defence he looks much older! His
voice cracking during his interview brought us back to reality. His version of ‘little
things’ got a yes from Simon who said that the other three’s votes didn’t
matter.
The iddy biddy youngsters kept on coming with
Chloe O’Gorman, her soulful rendition of Joss Stone's 'Right To Be Wrong'
was a particular hit with the judges and made it through to the next round.
Then came Lauren Platt, she showed off her smooth powerful tones that sounded
very mature. The judges loved her soulful voice and she belted her way through
to the next rounds wowing the judges and us with 'I Know Where I've Been' from
Hairspray.
Ben Quinlan.
He brought some comedy to the show with his
infatuation with Cheryl, dedicating his rendition of ‘That’s my goal’ to the
apple of his eye. Slightly creepy and bordering on restraining order Ben wasn’t
great but somehow the most Irish person we’ve ever seen made it through.
Ben wasn’t the only Cheryl fan; obviously, and we
were ‘treated’ to a montage of admiration. Just what the Cheryl centric show needed.
Amy Connelly.
Unlike Cheryl we didn’t managed to pull off
pretending we remembered Amy, until they flashed back to 2008 and we exclaimed
‘oh my god, we loved her’. She’s taken a leaf out of Melanie McCabe’s book
opting for a change in hair colour for her return. Amy sang 'With You' from the
musical 'Ghost' and got a great deal of tearful praise from all of the judges.
A proper sob fest! There was no shadow of a doubt that she was going through to
the next round. Cue big hugs from Cheryl and happiness all round!
Shayden Willis
The longest audition ever came from Ross from
Friends. His original songs managed to clear the room faster than it takes
Louis to utter a cliché. After an accidental proposition towards Simon he
vacated the room and began beat boxing to poor Dermot.
Chloe-Jasmine
Stupendously fabulous Chloe-Jasmine sounded if
she had just walked out the Downton Abbey trailer, gracing the panel with her
traditional looks; she proceeded to tell us that she was from England. Side-eye
glances were no doubt exchanged in many a living room. Her voice is stunning!
Sounding incredibly smooth and silky, she did not need a backing track or
anything to hide behind; her voice was pure gold. Also, many won’t know of the
vocal issues she had as a child when she struggled to put a sentence together….
Well look at her now.
Jay James
Handsome, hard-working, family man, great voice;
we weren’t prepared to fall in love! After having to withdraw from the Armed
Forces due to injury, Jay bought himself a guitar and taught himself to sing;
we're massively glad he did! Yes he ticks every X Factor contestant cliché box
but somehow he emerges from possible cheese to genuine artist. He blew everyone
away with his rendition of 'Say Something' by Great Big World; it oozed passion.
Even Mel B shed a tear, that's how great he was. With 4 yes’s we’ll be seeing
lots more of Jay.
Overall it was a bloody great show that gave us
everything we’d hoped for and more; talent, hilarity, novelty, emotion and a
few tears. But it wouldn’t be X Factor if we didn’t have a few moans. There are
just two things we’d need changing to call it the best opener ever…
The Room! We were delighted when this audition
round returned, it’s what set X factor apart from all the other talent shows
and allowed us to see a contestant in all their raw, unedited, intimate glory.
Now they’ve gone an introduced a backing track it’s basically the same as every
other round with just a few less people watching… you may as well just stick
them straight on the stage.
Cheryl. Yes it’s nice she’s back and all that but
if we wanted to learn about how wonderful she is and how much people love her
we’d watch a documentary or stare at her Instagram. It was completely
overlooked that the panel has a brand new judge, one who managed to steal the
show with one line ‘what am I? Chopped liver?’ We demand more Mel B!
Who was your stand out favourites?
No comments:
Post a Comment